Why do bad things happen to good people? Actually, why do bad things happen at all?
I am not a very religious person but I have faith and a belief in a higher power. I believe that everything has reason and purpose and we all have life for a reason. Why do some people suffer so horribly? You hear these terrible stories on the news about people, raped and murdered at the hand of someone and the suffering breaks your heart. Why? Why are there babies bought into this world who are sexually abused or beaten so badly they do not make it to their first birthday?
I can never wrap my head around the bad in life. I just cannot understand it. While my suffering is leaps and bounds away from some peoples pain, I have often said about myself "why me?" I am a good person why have I had so many things to bare? Some have said to me "God never gives you more than you can handle." Really? But why so much?
I remember the day vividly my GI doctor told me I really needed to have an ileostomy done. I sat in his office stone faced and listened to what he told me, he had been (and still is) my doctor for a very long time and knows me well and I just said "OK." I walked out of his office to my car and drove home which at that time was close to his office, I walked in the door of my condo and lost it completely. I was an absolute blubbering mess! I called my parents house to where my dad answered the phone and I could not do anything but cry uncontrollably as he literally screaming in the phone "WHAT? WHAT IS WRONG? PLEASE TELL ME?" I somehow blurted out "I need an ostomy"
He called my mother who happen to be with my aunt at a meeting in Central NJ about an hour from me and they drove directly to my house, bringing Chinese food to drown my sorrows in. I remember we talked and talked about what this surgery would do for my life and how it would make me better again but I also remember thinking (an saying) "This is not in the plan"
We seem to make plans of how our lives will go and in my 42 years of life I have found that those plans rarely pan out. I never planned to work in a school district in Transportation, I was going to be a Medical Lab Tech in a hospital, I loved Microbiology and Medicine that was me. I never planned to marry at 35 and deal with years of infertility, I was going to be on kid #3 by 35 years old and married for a good 10 years already. I certainly never thought I would be sick and I never thought I would have an ostomy bag. It was just not in the plan...
Why? I wish I knew
There is this story that I absolutely love. Whenever I think my life is way too hard or too much for me to handle, I just think of this little story and see things in a different light. I DO believe that God only gives us what we can handle, and yet sometimes, that belief seems to go down the drain when I'm in the midst of anything negative.
ReplyDeleteHere's the story...(not sure who wrote this btw...)
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A young man was at the end of his rope one day. He felt as though he had tried everything he knew to remedy his situation. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer.
"Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy of a cross to bear."
The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish."
The man was filled with relief. "Thank you, Lord," he sighed as he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large that the tops were not visible. Then he spotted a small cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered.
And the Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."
The young man had just been taught that when life's problems seem overwhelming, he should look around and see the problems of others.
He probably will find — as we all would — that he is far more fortunate than he ever imagined.
Deb, I LOVED that. Thank you so much for posting that. It does help to remember that I am fortunate.
ReplyDeleteRecently my aunt said to my mother "Jill should play the lottery she is due something good". I bought this up to my mother and she replied to me "You got something good already, Ryan"
She was right, I am blessed with the child I was told I would never have. I am fortunate, very fortunate.