Understanding God

Today, actually yesterday I had an epiphany. I think I finally understand God. OK maybe I do not totally understand God but I am starting to get it

I could not wait to come to my computer this morning and write this because I feel like "WOW I understand now, I get what others are saying." I would hear people say things like "I had a question that I placed before God and he lead me in the right direction" OR "I placed my problem in God's hand and he gave me the answer." Honestly my first thoughts always were Crackpot! What did he write you a note? Drop you a call? How did he answer you? He never answers me. Then this week happened...

I started this blog to get all the useless crap out of my head that I harp on all the time. And this has lead to much dialogue with others. I received a message from someone who shall remain nameless (you know who you are) and in the message it spoke about religion and religion helping us when we are down, how it has helped millions of people. In it she typed the following scripture

Luke 11.9-10. “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.


I loved it immediately and thought about it all day. Then yesterday a woman I work with was talking about a book she absolutely loved and kept by her bedside. It was 10 Conversations You Need To Have With Your Children by Rabbi Schmuley she talked and talked about it and then said to me "I have it here, glance at it during lunch" So I did, it had 10 chapters and I saw the last chapter was named "God" and I went and read it. He talked about having purpose in life and how children need to learn about God showing them how there life has meaning and purpose, just not that you are born and you are disposable but that you are here for a reason. He went on to talk about a tragedy in his town (he lives in Englewood, NJ by the way) where 4 children perished in a fire and how everyone reacted. Many people were saying things like "They are in a better place now" or "it was God's will he will take care of them" but he said NO that is not how it is or how you have to feel. He went on to say how when tragedy happens we are told to act like well that is what should have happened God had a plan, but that is not right. We are allowed to question why? We are allowed to tell God that this sucks! We are allowed to not understand why this happened and be mad about it. Being in a relationship with God is not like some divine relationship it is like anyone else and we are allowed to not agree. I was blown away by that thought but realized he was right

I then discussed this with my friend at work and proclaimed my love for this book (which I immediately purchased off Amazon) and told her that I struggle with my religion and that Ryan is not even baptized due to the struggle and I felt like a hypocrite if I walk into church to get him baptized because I cannot believe in everything the church says or says I should do and not do. She said to me "You will never believe everything the church says but it is OK to have religion and faith and define what you believe yourself, no one says you have to buy the whole program" She went on to say (and I am paraphrasing here) Build a bridge and they will follow, seek and you will find, ask and he will answer.

And in that moment I realized that was in the scripture that was written to me in the message I received. And I realized THAT is how God gives you answers. It is not a note or a phone call from him as I once joked but he opens your eyes to the answer and makes it abundantly clear.

I am absolutely changed by this epiphany, I get it now, I see how God speaks to us and I believe in my faith even more today. I know that God does truly exsist and gave me direction today.