The Road Back

I have been of a slacker lately but I am back today

The road back to recovery and health has been a tough one but I am happy to say I am close to the finish line

I had surgery on December 2nd finally, after the surgery which was scheduled for November was stopped due to the discovery of a mass in my throat (I will touch on this later). I guess I had forgotten when you wake up from major abdominal surgery what it really felt like, holy shit the pain was intensely horrible! I remember the nurse in the recovery room saying "we are getting them to bring up the PCA (Patient controlled analgesics) machine now for your pain meds" and thinking...Maybe you should of had that here waiting for me, no? Of course before you know it, the machine was there and hooked up but then they start the task of getting you ready for the move to your hospital room. Well this included flipping you around to get your gown back on and covered with blankets and all the machines hooked up and making sure nothing important like the catheter in your bladder gets pulled. Normally this would not sound all that bad but with 2 large cuts in your abdomen with a total of 40 staples this is something morphine can not even help you with.

For those of you who do not know what I had done I had a Parastomal hernia which is a hernia at the site of the ileostomy, the #1 complication with ostomy surgery. Now normal people get a hernia and they do laproscopic surgery and put in a mesh and all is done and you arehome the same day. But due to having Crohn's disease this was not so easy. Crohn's disease does not like the mesh patch, whatever the material is, almost 100% of the time it is the source of attack for Crohn's disease. Since the patch would be located immediately under my ileostomy, if Crohn's attacked there we would have a major problem or as the surgeon called it "catastrophic problem." So my surgeon told me we needed to move the ileostomy. All I could think was UGH! its so good where it is now...no, I don't want to!! Now I know none of you really get this, but when you get ileostomy it is a challenge in the beginning, it works all weird, the size of it changes for a good 6 months-1 year. It's a challenge to find the right bag to use all while facing leaks and skin burns from the intestinal contents....let's just say this it sucks ass in the beginning. I was not looking forward to do it again but that was the plan.

So they take me to my room and get me into bed (holy crap that hurt!) and the recovery begins. Wow it was hard this time, its been almost 11 years since my last intestinal surgery and age must be a factor because this was a tough one. I had a mid line cut for the general abdomen access and a cut at the old ileostomy site (so they can close it) and of course the spanking new ileostomy now on my left side. I am also am so lucky to have this big ass drain at the site of my old ileostomy that was less that comfortable but would hopefully help keep an infection away. I was in the hospital 4 days. Day 1 was the surgery day and you already know how that went, day 2 was not that bad,actually as good as the day after surgery could be. Then came day 3...OMG this was the day I wanted to die or OD on morphine or anything that would make this less painful! When you have intestinal surgery your intestines completely shut down and stop working a sort of paralysis. So you get an incredible build up of gas in your intestines that hurts more than any surgical cut, staples or labor with Ryan and clearly I forgot about this. The only real help is to get rid of the gas, which of course is a challenge with your intestines not working so it gets worse and worse. And then they inform you the pain medication makes it even worse by keeping your intestines paralyzed so they make you walk the halls to get it moving. Sounds easy, right? Well its pure hell, the pain is horrible but I was determined to get rid of the pain that had me moaning in pain so I walked and walked and walked till I was going to fall down, the nurses thought I was their star patient but I was just desperate for relief. Then came day 4 and the pain was still there and it was really bad so I walked and walked and walked and my intestines starting working a little so I walked and walked and walked. This went on for a week- 10 days.... The pain was hell and finally the gas pains were gone. Those are 7-10 days I hope to wipe from my memory at some point.

From that point I had vomiting for 4 days, a low grade fever for 2 weeks and, I got myself a kick ass case of thrush (a yeast infection in your mouth) from all of the antibiotics and general yuck. Food was not good and just made me feel bad and I was tired constantly. I slept in a recliner for days because I could not lay in bed and took Percoset just to be able to sleep at all.

And the road back moves on....Here I am about 6 weeks later and my everyday is totally pain free, I am not allowed to pick up or carry anything for "a long long time" according to my surgeon. This was right after he told me that he was impressed the mesh patch held because the defect in my abdominal wall was huge and he had to cut out a ton of destroyed muscle and tissue. Good to know doc! One day last week I bought one of the LeCrueset enamel coated cast iron pots from William Sonoma that weighs more that Ryan and realized after I purchased it that I should not be carrying it but what was I to do then I was standing there in the mall with it all paid for? So I went right to my car, carrying it all the way, thinking this is not good and paid for it with pain for the next 3 days. OK note to self no carrying things...nothing for along long time! But trust me its a kick ass pot!!

So its not totally over as I need to have a biopsy of the mass in my throat or actually the back of my tongue. Good news is my doctor does not think it is lymphoma but rather an overgrowth of lymph node type tissue for no known reason. I am probably going to have it done in April when I have a week off of work because it is done under general anesthesia in the hospital and I must stay in the hospital at least overnight to make sure my throat does not swell so bad that it effects my breathing. I really do not want to go back to the hospital, I still feel like I need to get past this last surgery. I am not sure if that makes sense of not but for the moment its all still fresh and the pain is still right there in the front of my brain. To do it again right now...ugh!