Ryan's birthday is next month and he will be 4. How is that possible? Time does fly by and wow it depresses me sometimes.
I had many infertility issues, I went to my doctor took all the drugs and nope that failed. I went to another doctor, took all the drugs and that failed. I went to a 3rd doctor and he basically told me "You need IVF" I went to get IVF and they found a huge cyst in my ovary and next thing I knew I was again in the hospital having surgery and I lost 1 ovary and tube. I had to go to Mt Sinai because no one even wanted to touch me, so I guess I was lucky? That was January 2006.
I gave up....I needed a break....I was a depressed mess...but I was done trying for a while
Somewhere in July 2006 I sat in a Weight Watchers meeting with my mother and told her how I was feeling so sick, that my Crohn's was acting up and I could not take it, I swear I could barely eat. On my ride home that night I thought (why no sure?) "OMG am I pregnant?" and my next thought was "When was my last period?" I looked through my calender and realized it was Memorial Day 2006 and there was no recording of a period in June at all. I went right to CVS and bought two different pregnancy tests, the multi packs so I had now 5 tests,and as anyone who has ever been pregnant knows you cannot wrap your head around being pregnant until you have at least a few positive tests of different brands. LOL!! So, I took the test and literally instantly there was a + sign. I thought I would die or hyperventilate at the very least. I called Peter on the phone and asked when he would be home and he said soon. He walked in the door and I lost it, I was crying so hysterically I could barely tell him. I was PETRIFIED! What the hell did we do? Almost 4 years...meds....surgery and all the doctors telling me no... I was pregnant! All I could think was HOLY SHIT!
I did everything right, I ate right and gained little weight (only 8lbs total to be exact). 16 weeks I had an amnio (due to my "Advanced Maternal Age") and he was perfect and a BOY!! Although I originally only wanted a girl I was thrilled. OMG a baby boy, I called everyone and anyone on my way home and for the next 2 hours.
19 weeks down... I went for the Level 2 ultrasound and everything again was wonderful but the director said "We really should have you back every 2 weeks because you had previous cervical surgery (for dysplasia) , just in case" Little did I know this was the best medical advice ever, I owe Ryan to her.
I came back every 2 weeks and even more since I now had gestational diabetes and all was good in the world, my OB (who has been my gynecologist for 15 years) even commented that I was making this look easy. I remember saying to him "Don't say that you know I do nothing easy" WOW...how true that was!
Then came my appointment the day before Thanksgiving I was 25 weeks and 2 days. I had 2 appointments that day, one with my OB, one with the specialist. I got caught in my OB's office because he had an emergency and almost cancelled my ultrasound but didn't and left my OB's office to reschedule that for later. Another very smart move but who knew at the time.
I went to the ultrasound and met my mother (she wanted to come and see the baby) and the first thing they did was measure my cervix. Now from having these done I knew it needed to be over 2.5 cm, under was 2.5 cm was"critical" and 2 weeks before I was at like 4. She measured at minimum 10 times and the screen kept reading 2.0 or 1.9 or 1.8. I was panicking to put it lightly. She asked me if I was having contractions and literally ran out of the room for the director. I thought...contractions? Of course not. In came the Director and told me I needed to go to the labor and delivery at the hospital, OK now I am freaking.
So thank god my mother was there and took me, they wisked me in an hooked me up to the baby monitor and I was having contractions that I could not feel but were changing my cervix. I learned that night that if I did not have the ultrasound that day the contractions would have continued probably until he was born at 25 weeks gestation. ACK....to say I was freaking at this point was an understatement. The miracle baby I was never to concieve could not be born at 25 weeks, please God this cannot happen.
From that moment until Ryan was born at 39 weeks exactly by C-section after a failed induction my pregnancy was a whirl win. I was on bed rest now for the next 14 weeks. I had to have my legs up at all times, I could only go down/up the stairs once a day, I could only shower every other day for 5 minutes. Lets just say I spend way more time on the internet than any 1 person really should.
I counted the days of pregnancy just to get him more developed, we celebrated the weeks. I remember my mom would call all excited each week "We are at week 27..." As the weeks went on and he was still inside, I relaxed slightly and then came my elevated blood pressure (pre-eclampsia). I would go to the specialist and my blood pressure would be 200/107 and she would send me back to L&D, this happened week after week. I learned to leave a packed hospital bag in the car.
The nurses at Valley all got to know me and when they saw me weekly they knew right what to do, it's sad really. I once knew all the nurses from the surgical ward and now I was making myself through the L&D ward too. Honestly they were wonderful and just love Valley hospital.
My doctor induced me at 39 weeks he wanted control of my delivery and of course 13 hours later at 7cm after a manual dilation I again failed. C-section here we come! At least that went fairly easy, my perfect baby was OK and full term.
Someone said to me when I was pregnant, bad pregnancy...good child and man they were so right. Ryan was a super good baby he almost never cried and when he did it was he was hungry 99% of the time. He has been this easy to this day too, I am so lucky. Now please do not get me wrong there are days I want to run down the street screaming at the top of my lungs or maybe throw something at the wall but he is really a model child.
I cannot believe it has been almost 4 years. I remember my baby boy coming home like it was yesterday, he was so small (6lbs 11 oz) his coming home outfit was out and we had nothing small enough to fit him. We walked in the house and I took him from his car seat and looked at Peter and said "Now what?"
You know what though, we figured it out and honestly I rock at this parenting thing if I do say so myself.
I prayed for him and someone knew I needed him, I am forever grateful for every bit of these past 4 years.
He is my one and only miracle and he is perfect
No comments:
Post a Comment