Today Ryan started a new daycare center, more affectionately called "school" to the working mother crowd. In case you missed it Ryan's former school (that he has been in since 6 months old) closed suddenly and I mean suddenly, just 1 weeks notice.
The daycare debacle (In case you have not noticed I name all the events in my life ,its an illness, you just have to move past it..LOL) was a big one at our house, Ryan has friends at his old school that he loves so much, he talks about them all the time, you know when you are 4 that is a huge part of your life. When I told Ryan that his school was closing, first thing out of his mouth was "Mommy I want to go to school with all my friends", I made no promises that we could do that.
So today was day 1, I have been agonizing over this for days, heck make that weeks! I spent 30 minutes crying to Peter last night over it, over leaving my baby boy and he is crying. Heck normal crying would be bad enough, but the teacher holding him so you can leave while he SCREAMS "Mommmmyyyyyy" while reaching his arms out to grab you crying I could not take and told Peter I may not make it through the day if that happened. Dramatic much??!! But I swear that is how I felt. I have been trying to prep him about the change but this is me here, the queen of overreacting so I was trying to back off some too. I took him on a tour of the new school and he met his teacher too, I hoped that would help. Last night I had him help me pack his brand new Pottery Barn kids Batman tote bag and asked him to help me, figuring it would help with the transition. When in doubt bribe him with Superhero merchandise, works every time!
This morning he wakes and I remind him "New school today" and he says "I'm so excited" and off we go. He did GREAT at drop off even though he was visibly scared and told me so in the car, he wanted to play alone even though some of the boys in his class tried to engage him, but that's my Ryan, he needs time to warm up and pulls away more if you push him. I then told him I had to leave and to my surprise he said "OK mommy" I kissed and hugged him and walked away.....OK I lied I did not walk away then, I walked back for another hug and more kisses and then walked away all while he was watching me looking sad.
I fought away the tears as I left him, I was heart broken that he was scared. It took everything I had not to walk back in there and stay with him until he softened up to playing with others. I realized in that moment how independent he has become and how much of a big boy he is now. Peter said to me last night in my crying rant "He will be fine, kids can surprise you" and he was right, he did surprise me. We went through so many Mondays even at his old school when he cried because he wanted to spend the day with me not at school, and while I secretly loved Ryan for loving me so, I wished he wanted to be at school and did not cry because it hurt my heart so much. Now this time he did not cry and it still hurt my heart so much because I thought he was scared. Ugh where does it end? As he gets more independent I guess this is what happens
For the record I am counting the minutes until I get to go get my little boy, I can't wait to hug him and hear about his day and of course there is a little reward batman costume/cape at home for him, because reward presents work every time too just like bribery, kids are funny like that....LOL
I also have realize today there is a major reason that God gave me only 1 child. He knew that I would be a wonderful parent but he also knew that the worry for more than one child would probably kill me and leave my children motherless.
I can't wait to go pick him up!
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